Angry at God Prayer When Bad Things Happen
This angry at God prayer is designed to get us unstuck by talking honestly to God. It’s common to be angry at God when we’re devastated by life circumstances such as grief, injustice, betrayal, disappointment, oppression, loss, broken relationships or serious health issues.
This angry at God prayer is designed to be done in short segments over time as you move past your anger.
Angry at God prayer session 1: Expressing your angry feelings towards God.
God,
Why did you let this happen?
Where were you and why didn’t you do something?
I’m feeling really angry. I’m devastated and hurt.
I feel betrayed and forgotten.
I wonder if you’re really there or if you care at all.
I’m questioning if the things I’ve always believed about you are true.
I feel like turning my back on you and walking away.
The dynamics of this prayer
This prayer gives us permission to be honest with God. As you pray, focus on the statements that fit how you’re feeling. Honesty means not pretending to be OK when you aren’t.
You may be surprised to find that each statement in this Angry at God prayer is in the Bible. They were all directed at God by someone who was in deep pain and distress. Here are some places in the Bible you can find them:
God,
Why did you let this happen? (Judges 6:13)
Where were you and why didn’t you do something? (Ps. 42:3)
I’m feeling really angry. I’m devastated and hurt. (Jonah 4:4)
I feel betrayed and forgotten. (Betrayed – Matthew 27:3,4; Forgotten – Psalm 42:9)
I wonder if you’re really there or if you care at all. (Matthew 27:46)
I’m questioning if the things I’ve always believed about you are true. (Psalm 74:12)
I feel like turning my back on you and walking away. (John 6:66)
All of these statements turn up in the Bible in the category of laments, which are prayers in which we express sorrow and grief about loss, suffering or injustice. In fact, there’s a whole book in the Bible called Lamentations which describes in great detail the awful state of Jerusalem after it was destroyed by foreign invaders around 586 BC.
An example from personal experience
A number of years ago I spoke with a young woman who was suffering from infertility. She went to specialists, she prayed hard. But nothing was happening. When others got pregnant she cried out to God, “Why are you blessing her and not me? I’m just as deserving as she is!”
As her anguish and anger grew, she started going to the grocery store late at night because it tore her up to see someone with a baby in their grocery cart. Even passing a car with a baby seat was like someone had stabbed her heart with a sharp knife.
At last she thought she might be pregnant and went to the doctors for a pregnancy test. It was negative. She held her anger in until she got into the parking garage of the medical center. Then her anger exploded. She shook her fist in the air and screamed, “What’s wrong with you God? You’re not listening to anything I say!”
I’ve remembered her vivid description of her prayer of anger many times. It has reminded me to honestly tell God about my angry feelings at unfair and awful situations in my life.
Angry at God prayer session 2: Specifically tell God exactly why you’re angry
In our first prayer, we expressed our strong feelings of being angry at God. In this prayer, we’ll continue the conversation in more detail. It’s good to find a private place where you can sit down after you have cooled down a notch to work through this prayer. It’s a guided prayer where you talk to God about your specific life situation(s) and how it’s affecting you.
God,
Here is the specific thing that has happened to me that has caused my anger_______________________________________________________
This is how it’s affecting my life in the following ways:
My sense of justice and well being______________________________________________
My trust/relations with other people__________________________________________________
My physical health_________________________________________________________________
My mental/emotional health_____________________________________________________________
My sense of security and self- worth ___________________________________________________
My financial stability ________________________________________________________________
My quality of life ____________________________________________________________________
My hopes and dreams_________________________________________________________________
My faith _____________________________________________________________________
The dynamics of this prayer
This prayer section continues to draw on the pattern of laments in the Bible where complaints are laid out to God. There are 42 Psalms of lament and 30 of them are personal life situations.
As you work on your list, attune yourself to who or what here on earth has caused your distress. Meditate on them and try to shift your focus of blame from God to the actual people or situations here on earth that have hurt you.
Once you‘ve determined the external causes, go back and reword your lament. For instance, try saying, “This is a terrible disease” instead of saying “You’re a terrible God.”
An example from personal experience
I was surprised when a friend I know as an amazing woman of faith shared that she was so angry at God in the past that she stopped going to church and had nothing to do with God for three years.
It happened because her teenage daughter and ex-husband ganged up to have the courts strip her of custody of their daughter. My friend felt betrayed, rejected, hurt, insulted, unappreciated and mistreated. And she was terribly worried about her daughter’s welfare.
Her whole world changed and suddenly she was isolated and alone. She went through the motions of going to work and coming home. But every time she set foot into her silent, empty house anger and feelings of loss and injustice overwhelmed her.
My friend said that it was almost a conscious choice to be angry at God instead of her ex-husband who was the real culprit. Why? Because in order to ever see her daughter and be a small part of her life, she had to maintain a civil relationship with her ex-husband.
Her story is the reason that I added in this section of the prayer. From her I learned that we often make an unconscious decision to blame God so we don’t have to deal with the harsh reality that blame lies somewhere else here on earth.
There are hundreds of thousands of things that can cause our heartbreak. And all of them are things that happen as a consequence of living her on earth where natural laws and bad choices made by people that affect us. And as much as I hate to admit it, sometimes they are even caused by bad choices that I personally make myself.
Angry at God prayer session 3: Ask God for help and find his guidance
God,
I’ve expressed my anger.
I‘ve lamented about the details of my devastation.
I’ve asked you to fix things, but things haven’t gotten better.
I guess it’s time to try a different prayer.
Help me.
Show me what to do.
What can I do to recover?
Who can help me and support me?
Where do I go from here?
How do I get my life back on track?
How can I free myself by accepting my loss and forgiving?
What plan do you have for my life now?
Amen.
The dynamics of this prayer
This prayer creates a crucial progression in our view of God. When we pray for help we‘re no longer talking to God like he’s an uncaring cosmic force but rather as someone able to have a personal relationship with us. Asking for help isn’t a fix-it prayer but a prayer for God to guide us.
Notice that the majority of the lines in this prayer end in a question mark. In the first prayer of this series, all of the question marks at the end of sentences were questioning God’s actions. In this prayer section, all of the sentences that end in question marks are asking what we should do next.
In the Bible, lamentations always ask for God’s help. It’s the natural next step when you pour out your heart to God. Asking God for help takes our focus off of our situation and turns us into active participants, moving forward to seek and create a good life despite our losses.
At first we may feel like it’s hard to get guidance from God. I’ve found that the more we try, the easier it gets because I learn to get a sense of how God typically answers. Guidance can come from many different sources, such as through good advice from someone else, from getting new information from experts and from becoming familiar with the wisdom in the Bible. Here are some articles we’ve written to help you learn more about hearing from God:
Finding an Answer to Every Prayer – Prayer Ideas
Praying for Direction and Discernment – Prayer Ideas Praying for Direction
“Lord Show Me Your Good Way.” – Prayer Ideas
An example from personal experience
My friend who lost custody of her daughter stopped praying and stopped going to church. But she eventually prayed “help me” without really expecting it would do any good.
The custody decree never changed. And her pain did not go away instantaneously. Instead a small series of steps started happening that she wasn’t aware were significant at the time. She began volunteering with a community safety group and became acquainted with a couple from a nearby church. When they found out she was going to be alone on Thanksgiving Day, they invited her to dinner with their family.
Later they invited her to church and after a while, she decided to go. She came back to church the next Sunday because she liked the jokes and stories the minister told. Her friend worked with church parking team and invited her to join. It didn’t require a lot of theology or religion to direct cars, so she joined the team.
She didn’t notice until much later that God was putting good people into her life to replace the family that had rejected her. Because of work she was a super early riser, so when she heard there was an adult Sunday school class trying to recruit members to meet at 8 AM, she joined.
She started attending a prayer group with me. I love hearing her pray because she is always so open and straight forward with God, often honestly expressing what we all were feeling.
Angry at God prayer session 4: Becoming closer to Jesus who suffered here on earth
Jesus,
I’ve seen crosses all my life, but I’ve never taken the time to think about the bad things that people did to you.
I’ve always thought that since you’re God’s son that you didn’t really hurt like I do.
But you did. You suffered real pain.
People rejected you, made fun of you and insulted you.
People called you a liar. Your friends deserted you.
People plotted against you, arrested you, tortured you and killed you.
I guess you know firsthand what I’m feeling and what I’m going through.
I’ve been told that you’re always there with me when I suffer.
Help your presence become real to me.
Amen.
The dynamics of this prayer
There are many passages in the Bible that will help you learn more about the sufferings of Christ. Here’s one from Isaiah 53:3-5. Meditate on these verses and apply them to your life.
Verse 3 says:
“He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering…”
My response ______________________________________________________________
Verse 4 says Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.
My response____________________________________________________________
Verse 5 says But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.
My response __________________________________________________________________
When Jesus suffered, he did it to take on our sufferings. It wasn’t just so he could understand what we’re going through. He did it as part of God’s plan that his suffering and death would pay the penalty for the sins of all of those who ask for forgiveness and want him to save them and give them new life and be in a relationship with him. God raised Jesus from the dead to show how his triumph over every evil that has ever happened in the world.
If you’d like to know more about this, here’s an article that explains how to start a personal relationship with Jesus: How to Increase the Power of Your Prayers by Getting to Know Jesus Personally – Prayer Ideas
An example from personal experience
The worst suffering I have gone through in my life was the mental and emotional suffering I experienced when one of our sons had a terrible illness that made everything in his life come crashing down at once. He was at rock bottom for years. My heart broke every time I thought about what he had lost and I didn’t know if he would ever recover.
The only thing that helped me make it through was the presence of caring people who prayed with me, comforted me, listened to my sorrow and cried with me. They were all sent to be the hands and feet of Jesus.
I couldn’t have gotten through without the promises in the Bible where Jesus says he is always with me, not matter what and no matter how long. (Matthew 28:20) I clung to the promises in the Bible to keep on hoping and keep on living.
I looked for and found small personal signs of God’s presence. A bumper sticker on a dump truck that said, “Trust God.” A misdialed phone number that connected me with a Christian friend who had been there with her own son and who prayed a strong prayer over me as I was driving down the interstate to try and help my son. A card from a friend with a list of all of the old hymns she had prayed for my son.
I don’t know how people get through a life crisis without God‘s helping presence.
Angry with God prayer session 5: Asking for hope
God,
I need hope.
I need some glimmer that things will get better,
Hope that I can have a good, productive life again
Hope that I won’t always feel stuck in this nightmare.
I need hope that you can put me back together again
Hope that you can heal my emotions
Please send me a sign of your goodness today
Amen
The dynamics of this prayer
Hope is something we can’t live without. When we place our hope in anything other than God, those other things will eventually let us down and leave us bitter and disappointed.
The power that hope gives comes from the fact that we put our faith in God’s goodness. Even though we aren’t yet better off, we believe we will be. The Bible describes hope like this, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1)
Don’t mistake faith and hope for positive thinking, visualizing an outcome or naming it and claiming it. These are all tricks we try to make fortune smile on us. Hope instead is believing that no matter what happens, we are with our loving God and we will end up with our loving God in both this world and the next.
In this prayer we ask for a sign of God’s goodness. This is different than asking God for a miraculous sign or a change in your status. This is simply asking God to open your eyes to his goodness that is already surrounding you.
Psalm 86:17 says, “Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame, for you O Lord, have helped me and comforted me.”
This Psalm invites us to look for any ways we have been helped and comforted and to count them as signs of God’s goodness. When we begin to believe that God is good, hope is born.
An example from personal experience
A number of years ago I was a prayer partner with a woman who was going through dire marital problems that would have ended most marriages. There were times she was very angry.
Yet even on the worst days, my friend was able to come up with something good that had happened that she could thank God for. It had an amazing effect on how she handled things. It enabled her to communicate calmly and directly about her feelings to her husband, and he began to accept her help and to try to change.
Seeing God as good made all of the difference.
Angry at God prayer session 6: Reconciling with God and moving forward
God,
I’m ready to move forward.
I want to reconnect with you.
I want to have you back in my life.
I know you understand why I was angry at you,
It’s hard to believe you never left me even when I left you.
I’m sorry God, for being angry at you.
I accept your forgiveness
Help me to forgive myself.
Show me how to grow in my relationship with you.
Help me to find a way to let go of my anger at those who have hurt me.
Amen.
The dynamics of this prayer
Although this is a short prayer, there is much power packed into it if you make it your own.
The Bible says, “The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.” (Psalm 145 18)
Throughout all of the steps of this prayer process we have made it a point to be truthful with God, even when it hurts. The main thing is to keep talking to God and keep looking for ways he is responding.
God is ready and able to forgive. The Bible says, “The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.” (Psalm 145:8,9)
Because Jesus took on the penalty for our wrongdoings on the cross, through his sacrifice we receive forgiveness. Ephesians 1:7 says about Jesus, “In him we have redemption through is blood and forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.”
Once you’ve made it to this point in prayer, a whole world of joy, freedom and goodness will open up before you as you rebuild your relationship with God.
The last sentence of the prayer is about letting go of your anger toward those who hurt you. It asks God to help you find a way to do this. This is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight and it will be different for each person. Use this sentence to put a glimmer of hope into your heart that this might be possible at some future date as you grow in God’s grace.
An example from personal experience
The friend I previously mentioned who lost custody of her teenage daughter told me that after she had come back to church and her relationship with God was back on track, she asked God to forgive her for being angry at Him. This was something she did privately, just between God and herself.
Receiving God’s forgiveness didn’t require a public confession or any ritual. All she did was ask God to forgive her.
She told me that she was very surprised when God accepted her prayer for forgiveness without any sort of condemnation. She felt her guilt lifted and she felt free, accepted and loved.
Here is what she told me about her experiences:
The issue I was angry over did not change. What changed was how I lived with it. To realize we have permission to be honest with God, no matter the circumstance lends such clarity to his greatness and our walk with Him. The reassuring fact is that God never gives up on us even we give up, in essence , on Him. He remains loving, patient and sometimes smacks us upside the head to open our eyes to His love!
About this prayer
Being angry at God happens more often that we might think. Many people who get angry at God don’t express it openly. Often we simply move away from God, stop attending church, avoid Christians and stop praying.
Others express their anger at God openly and strongly. When I was a freshman in college one of my literature professors said to the class, “If there is a God, why does he allow children to suffer?” Because I had grown up in church, I was shocked. Looking back, I wonder if the professor was hurting because of something specific that happened in his life.
When we hold onto our anger at God, it leads to cynicism and bitterness and eventually makes us call into question if there is a God at all. And if he does exist, he’s a cruel God. We look for company in our misery and sometimes even try to weaken the belief of others.
In the Bible, when Job was crushed under a triple whammy of calamities – death of all his children, loss of all of his wealth and a terrible disease, his wife became the poster child of someone whose own anger spilled over to others. Instead of trying to comfort or help her husband she told him, “Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!” (Job 2:9 NIV)
The bottom line is, when we are hit with times of suffering, injustice, loss and calamity, it throws us all off balance physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. We all question our faith because of it.
We can either “curse God and die” or we can cry out to God to help us. It’s ironic that we often chose to distance ourselves from God when we need his help the most to get through tragedy and keep on living.
Other helpful articles
Using Laments to Offer Prayers Complaining about Loss and Injustice – Prayer Ideas
Dealing with Insults Prayer – Prayer Ideas
Trusting God Prayer When You’re Asking God Why He Let Things Happen – Prayer Ideas
Prayer for the Moment When You Seem to Lose Everything like Job in the Bible – Prayer Ideas
Prayer for Justice For Yourself or Justice for Others – Prayer Ideas Copyright
Karen Barber, 2021. All rights reserved.
