This Estranged from Loved One Prayer for Reconciliation and healing will help you receive God’s help and wisdom to do what is within your power to mend your broken relationship. When you are alienated from someone who used to be close to you, prayer can be a strong tool in finding a pathway forward toward healing.
Estranged from Loved One Prayer for Reconciliation and Healing
There are three parts to this prayer:
Praying about the situation
Asking for guidance on how to reach out
How to live your best life while estranged from a loved one.
Estranged from Loved One Prayer about the situation:
Dear Heavenly Father,
My heart is broken because of my estrangement from ______________________. I miss having them in my life and my heart aches. We used to be so close and being alienated has been a terrible shock.
I pray that you show me a path forward.
As I begin my journey, I pray your help with my feelings and emotions. Sometimes I feel depressed, isolated, abandoned, confused, angry, shunned and rejected. Here is how I am feeling ____________________________________________________
Here are the ways that this estrangement has affected my health, sense of worth and well being____________________________________________________
Here are the ways this has affected other relationships in my life ______________________________
My mind has gone over and over trying to figure out what went wrong.
Here’s what happened that seems like it caused us to part ways ________________________
Here’s what _________ has told others that caused us to part ways ___________________
I pray that you will send me a word of truth about the underlying things that caused us to become estranged_____________
Even though I may not ever understand what went wrong, I do understand that you know hidden things in my heart and theirs. Please forgive me for any part I knowingly or unknowingly played. And help me work toward forgiving the things that _______ said and did. Relieve me of any misplaced feelings of guilt and replace it with your grace and truth. Amen.
Prayer Asking for God’s guidance when attempting to reconcile with loved one
Dear God of Wisdom,
Here are the reasons why I want to reconcile ___________________________
Here are the things I have tried to do to reach out that have been rejected so far ___________________
Give me wisdom about how and when to try again.
Help me communicate that I am willing to start over from today with whatever small steps we can take and that it doesn’t matter how much time has passed.
Open a channel of communication that works.
Guide me to sources of help. Speak to me if I might benefit from: professional counselors, prayer partners, legal counsel, information or support groups. Here are some sources of help you are putting into my mind today ________________________________________________________________
Show me any boundaries I need to set for my own well-being if my estranged loved one comes back into my life. What emotional, financial, physical, aggressive language and behavior boundaries do I need to set? _________________________________________
Open my eyes to any underlying causes of this estrangement on the part of my loved one. Is there substance abuse, mental health problems, money problems, misunderstandings, unresolved trauma issues, shame, guilt, self-centeredness, past history between us? Here is an underlying cause you are putting on my mind today __________________________________
Prepare me to accept the fact that things might not be might not be perfect if we reconcile. Help me to trust you if:
They never apologize.
They don’t change
They make ultimatums
They never are back in my life
We can’t make up for lost time
Show me if the relationship was abusive, toxic or demeaning and whether for my own protection I should leave things as they are_______________________
Give me practice in hearing the voice of your Holy Spirit within me so I can take good steps toward reconciliation. Amen
Prayer to create my own best life while estranged from loved one
Dear God of Grace,
In the meantime, help me go on with a good life. Strengthen and expand my faith and restore me.
Surround me with loving, supportive people. Here is someone I thank you for today __________________
Heal my emotions.
Quiet the voice of lies in my head that say I am unworthy and I am a failure. Replace them with assurances and promises from your Word in the Bible that you love me, I am your child and you delight in me.
Use me for your good purposes. Give me satisfying work. Grant me joy and a sense of accomplishment in my small daily missions from you.
Refresh me with times of physical, emotional and spiritual rest.
Draw me closer to you. Be always present in times of plenty and times of sorrow. Help me claim your promises in the Bible. Enable me to pray. Fill me with hope and trust.
Make me an instrument of your peace.
I know you understand me because you, too, oh God, know what it is like to long for those you love to have a relationship with you. Thank you that while all of us in the whole world were estranged from you, you sent Jesus to reconcile us to yourself as a free gift of your unfailing love.
Scripture promises to claim when estranged from a loved one
God longs for estranged people to come back to him.
The theme of estrangement in the Bible is one of the overriding hallmarks of people’s relationship with God. Throughout the pages of the Bible, people are shown turning their backs on God, rebelling, severing ties and distancing themselves from Him. God is constantly portrayed as desiring a relationship with him, even though we’ve done wrong and turned our backs on him.
Jesus lamented, “Oh Jerusalem, Oh Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.” (Luke 13:34 NIV)
God sent Jesus on a ministry of reconciliation and he empowers us to reconcile others.
Here is what the Bible says, “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.” (2 Corinthinans 5:18,19 NIV)
God works to restore the hearts of family members to each other
“He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers, so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse.” (Malachi 4:6 NIV)
We are able to stand firm against the evil of estrangement with Christ’s help.
“Resist him (the devil), standing firm in the faith because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” (I Peter 5:9,10 NIV)
God enables us to live a healthy life, even while estranged from loved ones.
In the Parable of the Prodigal Son, Jesus tells the story of a son who takes advantage of his father and then goes off to a far land where he wastes his whole inheritance and finds himself homeless and hungry. (Luke 15:11-31) The son comes to his senses and decides to return to his father and beg for forgiveness in hopes that his father will take him on as a hired hand.
While the son is still a long way off, his father sees him and welcomes him with open arms. He is so overjoyed that he kills a fatted calf for a feast and puts a ring and robe on his undeserving son. The father tells his older son who is jealous “But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead, and is alive again; he was lost and is found.”
A friend told me that this parable opened her eyes to the fact that although the father was grieved by his son’s estrangement, he also made a good life for himself despite his loss. The father had a fatted calf and a ring and fine robes and fields that he continued to plant and tend. Her personal word from God was that she, too, should go forward and live a good, healthy and prosperous life while waiting.
Forgiveness is another strong theme in the Bible. We are called to forgive because we have been forgiven by God. The Bible says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32 NIV)
Pray for your estranged love one
Although your relationship is broken down, you are still able to reach your loved one through prayer. Some of the sorts of prayers you might pray for your loved one include prayers for protection, prayers for a changed life and heart, delivering them from evil compulsions and deeds,
“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” (Luke 6:27,28 NIV)
Rest in God’s love and care for you
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
“The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jerimiah 31:3
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” I Peter 5:6,7
“In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
About this Estranged from loved one prayer
I am greatly indebted to a friend who collaborated on this prayer. She told me about her experience being estranged from her grown son, which also removed daughter-in-law and grandchildren out of her life.
My friend has never learned the reason why her son cut her out of her life. They didn’t have a terrible fight or a falling out. One day he simply ghosted her and stopped answering her texts, calls, emails and mail. He blocked her from social media. He went so far as sending back her letters and birthday cards back by marking them, “Return to sender.”
At first my friend felt panic not being able to get in touch with her son. This led to anxiety and depression. She felt helpless, hurt and angry. Her chronic health condition worsened. She went through the stages of deep and horrible grief and post-traumatic stress in the same way you would if your loved one had died suddenly.
She was reluctant to tell anyone about the break with her son because, like many people who are shunned, she felt a sense of shame. She told me, “Being shunned implies that you must have done something really wrong for this to happen. The gravity of the act of cutting a mother off after being close and denying her a chance to see her grandchildren she loves made other people assume that I’d done something really wrong. I knew this wasn’t the case, and I spent a lot of time and effort trying to convince family members I hadn’t caused this and it was exhausting.”
This estrangement from her son began to take a toll on her relationship with her daughter who remained in contact with both my friend and my friend’s son. My friend had to work hard to not make all of her encounters with her daughter a chance to get any bit of news about her son’s life.
My friend got through by clinging to her faith, God’s promises in the Bible and by engaging in therapy and counseling. She held tenaciously to hope. She learned to count her blessings and not lose sight of the good people who still wanted her in their life instead of focusing on her lost relationship.
She developed a more robust prayer life. She prayed for protection for her son. She asked God to help her forgive her son. She finally came to a point of relinquishment in prayer where she gave up control and her desire to change the situation. She took comfort in the fact that Jesus himself had prayed with all of his strength that God would spare him the crucifixion but that he gave up his wishes to God.
My friend continued on the road to recovery by deciding that she had felt guilty too long enough about going on with her life. She put the hoped-for reconciliation into big picture of her life and began taking steps to live a full life now. She worked on self-care and became active again in Christian community.
My friend’s son has yet to come back into her life. In the meantime, she has become closer to God and has learned how to go forward with a good life.
What the experts say about dealing with estranged loved ones
A recent survey, that defined estrangement as “having no contact at all,” found that at least 25% of those polled said they were estranged from a friend or relative with whom they used to be close. In most cases, they hadn’t simply drifted away but instead there had been a major, emotionally charged break.
Making matters worse, people often endure estrangement privately which leads to feelings of isolation and shame. Adding to the difficulty, estrangement involves continual regret and long-term uncertainty with no guarantee of things being resolved.
The person who is cut off often feels the most emotional pain. They may suffer from what the experts term “estrangement grief” that includes heavy feelings of loss, rejection and injury. To make matters worse, grievers often suffer alone because others are unaware of or dismiss their suffering, and they don’t offer the same kind of support they would when someone is grieving the physical death of a loved one.
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Copyright Karen Barber 2022. All rights reserved.